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Jack’s life is awesome. His store is making money hand over fist and his best friend has found love. So what if he’s feeling a bit restless and put out about his upcoming birthday and his ex is being a pain in his fabulous behind? That’s nothing he can’t handle. But then his smoking hot new bookkeeper discovers things at the store aren’t actually as they seem. Someone is playing fast and loose with the finances. Jack’s bestie and his gal pals, the gray-haired knitting detectives, jump at the chance to solve Jack’s problems. When they aren’t re-enacting scenes from spy thrillers, they’re setting Jack up on dates and generally insinuating themselves into his love life. They’re determined to find love for Jack as well as his missing money. Will Jack catch a thief or find love? Either way Jack’s going to get his man.
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Other books in the Grey-Haired Knitting Detectives Series:
Meet The Author
I was born and raised in Wisconsin, but think I’m a European. After spending my senior year of high school in Germany, I developed a bad case of wanderlust that is yet to be cured. My flying Dutch husband and I have lived in Ohio, Virginia, the Netherlands, Germany and now Istanbul. We still haven’t decided if we want to settle down somewhere – let alone where. I’m leaning towards somewhere I can learn to surf even though the hubby thinks that’s a less than sound way to decide where to live. Although I’ve been a military policewoman, a commercial lawyer, and a B&B owner, I think with writing I may have finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up. That’s assuming I ever grow up, of course. Between playing tennis, running much slower than I would like, trying to adopt every stray dog within a 5-mile radius, traveling to exotic new locales, singing off tune, drinking entirely too many adult beverages, addictively watching new movies and reading books like they are going out of style, I write articles for a local expat magazine and various websites, review other indie authors’ books, write a blog about whatever comes to mind and am working on my sixth book.
Praise from previous reviews
“The five female seniors’ involvement in all of this, especially the investigation, is both hilarious and endearing.”
Amazon Reviewer ~ Vicki Smith >>> Click for review.
“I would recommend this book (and am) to friend that read. It was light hearted, quick to read, and fun in all the best ways.”
“…there is something delightfully addictive once you allow yourself to get caught up in the mad-cap shenanigans of Jack’s life and, I literally couldn’t put the book down, reading it in one sitting.”
“Jack Gets His Man is the perfect antidote to the stresses of real life, offering an alternate reality in the style of a fun sit-com. It would make the ideal beach read and any reader wishing to while away a couple of hours with a funny, entertaining romp, can’t go wrong with this one.”
Amazon Reviewer ~ C. Gerber >>> Click for review.
“The “gray haired detectives” are back, which I’m happy to say are in their usual rare form. There is nothing feeble about them and they use their skills to do recon missions, perform accounting audits, and get in a little bit of trouble with the local police. In their spare time they play matchmaker to the single people in their church, whether or not the poor souls want any help.”
Amazon Reviewer ~ Jo-Anne >>> Click for review.
“D.E. Haggerty writes wonderfully funny mysteries that have lots of detail and chuckles throughout.”
Amazon Reviewer ~ Karen O >>> Click for review.
“This is for you if you like female sleuths, hilarious situations as well as a great combination of (cozy) suspense, humour and romance. A funny and also suspenseful book to read again.”
Amazon Reviewer ~ Christine Lee >>> Click for review.
“It hit all the marks for me: plot, fun characters, twists, romance and humor. This one has it all. If D.E. Haggerty is not already on your lists, you need to add her! I know I have.”
Amazon Reviewer ~ Julia >>> Click for review.
“The Author give us an exquisite romantic cozy mystery, with humorous dialogues, playful situations, captivating characters and a very intriguing mystery.”
“Hands in the air. Drop to your knees,” was shouted at them. Blinded by a flashlight, it was impossible to identify the speaker.
Martha huffed. “There is no way I’m going to my knees, young man.” She yelled at the light.
“Me either. I’ll never be able to get up again.” Ally agreed and put her hands on her hips in protest.
Jack shook his head but quickly dropped to his knees. Only he would get caught while snooping with two grandmas who refused to listen to the police. He hung his head and pretended he was somewhere else, anywhere else.
The cop lowered his flashlight and brought out a pair of cuffs. He started walking towards the group but stumbled when he took in Ally and Martha. He shook his head. “Are you ladies willing to go quietly into my squad car?” He asked.
Ally and Martha took one look at the cop and nodded. “Wherever you want to go officer,” Martha responded. Oh great. Now they were flirting with the arresting officer. Jack waited patiently on his knees until the cop reached him. He was cuffed and then dragged to his feet.
“Come on ladies,” the officer stated while pulling Jack to the cop car.
There were two squad cars in Damien’s driveway. Betty, Rosemary, and Rose were already sitting in the backseat of the other car. They waved as Jack passed with Ally and Martha in tow. Jack shook his head at them and looked for Izzy. She sat in her car and mouthed sorry but didn’t make a move to help them. Jack knew it wouldn’t help anything if Izzy got out of the car. She’d just get arrested as well but still he stuck his tongue out at her. The cop scanned the area to see where Jack’s tongue was pointed. Izzy immediately started up the car and, with a squeal of the tires, took off. Jack chuckled.
“Aren’t you going to turn on the siren,” Martha asked once the cop was back in the patrol car and they were headed to the police station. Ally bobbed her head in excitement. Jack hung his head.
The cop chuckled. “Normally perps don’t like the siren on.”
“Why not?” Ally leaned forward to get a better look at the officer.
“They don’t want to be seen being hauled to the police station,” was the officer’s perfectly acceptable answer.
Ally and Martha huffed. They leaned back and crossed their arms across their chests. “Well, that’s just boring,” Martha said to Ally. Ally nodded in agreement.
The quiet didn’t last long. “So, officer,” Martha began. “Are you single?” Jack tried to make himself disappear at this point but unfortunately closing his eyes and wishing he was anywhere else in the world but in the back of a cop car that smelled like piss with two elderly troublemakers turned matchmakers was a bust.
“I’m single ladies,” the officer readily answered. “But don’t get your hopes up for your granddaughters. I’m also gay.” Jack prayed for a hole in the floor of the sedan to open up and swallow him whole.
Ally and Martha clapped in glee. The officer turned around in surprise before quickly returning his attention to the road. The quick look was all Jack needed. It appeared that he’d been arrested by a man hot enough to be Mr. January in the police calendar. Although it was dark in the car, he couldn’t miss the curly brown hair and eyes the color of rich chocolate. He’d bet the man was made of muscles as well. He nearly sighed but caught himself just as he saw Ally and Martha looking at him for a response. He buried his face in his chest. Luckily, they had arrived at the police station.
The first candidate arrived promptly at 9:30 or at least his mom did. Danny ushered an elderly matron with a stern bun into Jack’s office and made a hasty retreat.
Jack just stared at her until Izzy cleared her throat and poked him in the ribs. “I’m sorry,” she said when Jack kept staring. “We were expecting someone named Fred. Is that you?”
The woman looked first at Jack and then at Izzy. “Of course that’s not me,” she snapped. “What kind of name is Fred for a woman?”
“Er.. um,” Izzy stumbled. “Do you know where Fred is?”
The woman rolled her eyes and harrumphed. “He’s in the bathroom. He always gets nervous at interviews.”
“Um. Okay,” Izzy was quick to respond when she saw Jack opening his mouth. Knowing Jack nothing appropriate was coming out of his mouth at the moment. “Can you have a seat outside while we conduct the interview?” Izzy could do prim and proper when necessary.
The woman gave Izzy the evil eye before turning on her heel and walking out. They never saw Fred.
Jack was licking his fingers when Danny ushered in the next candidate. “Hi!” the enthusiastic candidate nearly shouted. “I’m Tim!” That part was definitely shouted.
Jack and Izzy stood to shake the man’s hand. He swayed a bit as he leaned forward. Jack took a sniff, but didn’t smell anything untoward. Tim collapsed in his seat while Jack stared at his hand in disgust. Tim’s hands were sweaty. Jack’s mouth pulled tight in a grimace and his nose scrunched in displeasure.
“So Tim. Why do you want this job?” Izzy’s voice was overly enthusiastic in an attempt to bring Tim’s attention to her so he wouldn’t see Jack’s grimace. She need not have bothered. Tim had leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. When he didn’t respond, Izzy snapped her fingers. “Tim?”
He started. “Huh? What?”
“Have you been drinking?” Jack didn’t even bother to ask in a polite manner.
Tim shrugged. “Just a tiny drink to settle my nerves.”
Jack stood. “Okay. Thanks a lot for coming. We’ll be in touch.”
Tim looked confused but managed to struggle to his feet and lurch out of the door. Izzy was giggling uncontrollably by the time Jack sat back down. He snorted. “At least this isn’t boring.”
An hour later, Jack had changed his mind. Interviews #3 and #4 were tedious. Like he was going to hire someone wearing a gray, off-the-rack suit to work in his company. He laid his head on the table, careful not to mess up his hair, and turned pleading eyes to Izzy. “Can we please have lunch now?”
Izzy shook her head. “Nope, another interview before lunch.”
“I hate you,” Jack whispered as the door opened again. Danny ushered in a beautiful man and Jack perked up immediately. Izzy gave him a side-long glance but he ignored her. Things were looking up.
“This is Damien,” Danny said before backing slowly out of the office, eyes glued to the man candy that was Damien.
Izzy jumped up to shake his hand. Jack just stared until she kicked him in the shin. Then he stood up as well, but he looked like he was in a trance as he reached forward to shake Damien’s hand. Izzy had to cover her mouth to keep from giggling.
“So,” Izzy began once everyone had sat down and Jack had inspected Damien from top to toe. “Why do you want to work here?”
Damien turned his dazzling smile on Izzy and winked. “Seriously? This store is awesome.”
“Are you a cross-dresser?” Jack asked before Izzy had a chance to kick him again.
“No,” he shook his head. “But I think it’s great that someone is willing to have a store dedicated to cross-dressers in such a small town in Oklahoma of all places.”
“You do realize that a significant portion of the store’s income comes from the big and beautiful women’s section,” Izzy pointed out.
Damien waved his hand in dismissal of her objection. “But that’s great as well. Everyone should have good clothing options.” He looked at Jack for confirmation and Jack nearly took his head off nodding in agreement. Izzy had to stifle yet another laugh.
Jack cradled his head in his hands with his elbows on the table staring at Damien. Obviously it was up to Izzy to conduct this interview. “Tell us about your work experience.”
The interview lasted 30 minutes, but Jack couldn’t tell you one single thing that was said during that time. He was too busy trying to keep his drool from spilling out of his mouth. Izzy cleared her throat and Jack realized that everyone was standing. He quickly jumped to his feet and shook Damien’s hand, holding on for as long as possible. Damien gave him a megawatt smile before turning to leave.
Izzy collapsed in the chair and turned squinted eyes on Jack. “No.”
Jack flounced into his chair and decided to play innocent. “Whatever do you mean, my dear?” He might be overdoing the innocent thing.
Jack took a big breathe and forced a smile on his face. “Your man candy has arrived, ladies!”
The group of grandmas immediately began to giggle like they were teenagers and not the senior citizens that they were. “Jackie my boy,” shouted Betty. She patted the seat next to her. “Come sit here.” Jack raised an eyebrow at her. He didn’t trust Betty any more than he could knit a purl stitch, whatever the heck that was.
Although Jack loved this club of gray-haired knitting wonders and would do just about anything for them, he knew what they really were under their perfectly coiffured looks – troublemakers. They fooled most people into believing they were sweet, little old ladies who wouldn’t hurt a fly. Yeah right. They were troublemakers with a capital T and wouldn’t hesitate to bring him, Izzy, or Noel into a shit storm of their own creation, laughing the entire way.
Jack sighed and went to sit next to Betty. Betty was the head honcho of the so-called knitting club. If she wanted you to sit next to her, you were going to sit next to her come hell or high water. Unfortunately, that usually meant she was up to no good. Although to be fair when was she ever not up to no good?
Izzy, wonderful woman that she was, handed him a glass of lemonade and winked. He took a sip and it burned all the way down. “What the hell,” he coughed.
Izzy shrugged. “I didn’t taste test it. Too strong?”
The knitters peered at Izzy with questions in their eyes, but Jack was oblivious. “Just a bit. I’ll be sending you the bill for my esophagus transplant.”
“I don’t even think they do those.” Izzy murmured as she tripped onto Noel’s lap. Noel righted her and he pulled her close.
Betty set down her knitting and looked at Jack. When she crossed her hands in her lap like a prim old lady, Jack knew he was in for it. “Are you seeing anyone at the moment,” she asked.
Jack choked on another sip of lemonade. “What?”
“Are you seeing someone?” Betty asked again slowly as if he hadn’t understood the first time. Uh oh. He was most definitely in trouble.
“He’s not,” Izzy answered for him. “And he needs to get laid.”
Giggles erupted all around him except for Ally who blushed and hid her face. Ally was really a sweet old lady although she had a naughty streak, which sometimes ended with Jack getting his butt pinched. He thought it was cute, but still acted outraged whenever she managed to gather the courage to come near his tight tush.
“Oh good,” Betty clapped her hands. Clapping hands was never good. He raised an eyebrow at Betty and waited. “We have the perfect man for you!”
Jack groaned and hid his face in his hands. This is what his life was reduced to? Getting set up on blind dates by 80-year-old grandmas? He was pretty sure this was the definition of pathetic.
Betty slapped him on the shoulder although between his muscles and her dainty hands it was more like a tap. “Shush you. He is absolutely lovely. Comes to church every Sunday. All alone. Such a lovely young man.”
Martha placed a piece of paper in his hand and he looked down to see a phone number. “Now that’s Tommy’s telephone number,” Betty filled in. “He’s expecting your call. Don’t disappoint us.” Instead of getting guilt-tripped by his mother and grandmother, he had a whole group of grandmas to guilt-trip him.
Jack looked up and smiled at Martha who was still touching his arm after having placed the paper in his hand. “He’s a cutie pie,” she whispered and Jack held back from snorting. Was there any young man that these women didn’t find cute?
“Cutie pie?” Betty grunted. “That man is hot. H-o-t, hot!”
Izzy giggled from her perch on Noel’s lap. Jack gave her his best evil eye but she just stuck her tongue out at him. “You’ve got nothing to lose, Jack. Just go for it!” He raised his eyebrow at her enthusiasm. Before she could push him any further, Noel put his hand over his mouth. She bit him but kept quiet.